Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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