So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
