Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
