The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dicks are not precious.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize