Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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