I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
bring money and cleavage
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
