Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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