You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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