Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
