FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
