I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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