Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
nutella sex= disaster
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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