I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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