she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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