i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
