my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
