They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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