he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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