This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
