For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
