You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize