Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
