He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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