my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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