Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize