After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
God, I missed his penis.
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