I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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