u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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