Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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