New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize