He kissed a someone with a penis
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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