My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
