We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When are your genitals available?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
