What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
