it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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