why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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