Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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