the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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