She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
