I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize