So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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