Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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