i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
