we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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