watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
