So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
