There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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