Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
