Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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