He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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