Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
