Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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