the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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