I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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