can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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