god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
