im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
