If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
did you just send me my own nude
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
