if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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