Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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