Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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