fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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