when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize